Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
