Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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