READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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