I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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