I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
