The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize