I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
