heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
