You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
