Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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