you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
