do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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