peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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