So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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