he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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