So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
