i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
