I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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