We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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