I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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