you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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