Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
