I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
