Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
