She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
