think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
