His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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