I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
