Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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