i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize