i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize