It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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