I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
