At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
