My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Randomize
