We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
