No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize