just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
