I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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