he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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