so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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