Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
