Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
