i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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