pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
