I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
ok first of all what the fuck
we should paint friendship bongs
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