she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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