I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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