Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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