He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
