I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
