HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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