this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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