ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize