So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
