Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
