508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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