and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
