So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
