At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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