Yo dont text me then not text me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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