It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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