I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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