Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
