grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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