no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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