She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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