I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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