Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
