We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
